当心了！社交媒体或泄露你分手征兆！

2021-03-10 MedSci原创 MedSci原创

rayms

企业/

“Ta 是不是我命中注定的人”，“我们会不会分手？”这是爱情中最常让人思考，也是最怕思考的问题。当爱情遇到难题，我们特别需要一位“预言家”。

news.utexas.edu

“Ta 是不是我命中注定的人”，“我们会不会分手？”这是爱情中最常让人思考，也是最怕思考的问题。当爱情遇到难题，我们特别需要一位“预言家”。

而现在，科学家们发现一种有效的预测分手的方法，分手前3个月，情侣间的社交媒体语言特征就已经发生变化。这项研究结果发表在PNAS杂志上。

Sarah Seraj, Kate G. Blackburn, and James W. Pennebaker.et al.Language left behind on social media exposes the emotional and cognitive costs of a romantic breakup.PNAS .2021. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.2017154118

在这项研究中，研究人员收集了来自Reddit网站上6803名用户所发布的100多万张帖子，这些帖子内容包括参与者2年来生活的方方面面，不仅仅是与情侣间感情相关帖子。通过对这些帖子进行文本处理程序，进而分析情侣分手前/后的社交媒体语言特征。

研究人员发现，分手前3个月，情侣社交媒体语言特征已经发生了改变，分手前一周达到顶峰，6个月后才恢复正常的语言模式。一般情况下，人们不会真正注意到使用过“介词，冠词或代词”的次数，但当经历情绪和心理动荡时，这些功能词会发生变化，这种变化可以告诉我们关于情绪和心理状态的信息。

研究发现，在分手前，发帖人会更多的使用“我”和“我们”这两个词，并显示出自我认知能力增强的迹象。不管是帖子是否是关于分手话题，他们的语言特征变得更加个性化和非正式化。这些语言特征的改变表明他们承担着沉重的认知负担，并且越来越专注于自我。“我”一词的使用与沮丧和悲伤有关。

另外，研究人员进一步发现，发帖越多的人，越难走出分手阴霾。当人们处于沮丧状态时，与他人无法建立尽可能多的关系。与短期发布帖子的参与者相比，在较长时间内发布分手信息的参与者在分手一年后仍然很难走出分手的痛苦，可能是他们一遍遍回忆与伴侣在一起的点点滴滴，才难以走出痛苦的阴霾。对于那些经历过离婚的人来说，也发现了相似的语言特征的改变。

对于关系消散的轨迹，早在1984年就有研究人员对恋爱关系解除进行研究。发表在Journal of Social and Personal Relationships的一篇研究描述了恋爱关系解除的五个阶段：发现不满（D）、暴露（E）、谈判（N）、解决（R）和转变（T）。在对112项关系破裂回顾研究分析发现，处在暴露（E）和谈判（N）阶段的伴侣会经历更加持久且糟糕的关系状态。而终止关系的时间长短（从D到T）与伴侣之间的相互吸引力和认同感成正比，且与解除关系后孤独感和恐惧感成正相关。

伴侣关系结束前和结束后特征.Lee L . Sequences in Separation: A Framework for Investigating Endings of the Personal (Romantic) Relationship. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 1984.

虽然，多数分手让人伤心，但并不是所有都是坏事。发表在Psychology and Aging 杂志的一项研究显示，与拥有高质量恋爱关系的人相比，低质量恋爱关系的人生理老化速度更快。

Kyle J. Bourassa et al.Intimate Partner Violence and Lower Relationship Quality Are AssociatedWith Faster Biological Aging.Psychology and Aging, 35(8), 1127-1139. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/pag0000581

在这项研究中，研究人员调查了来自1972年4月至1973年3月期间在新西兰出生的1037名参与者，对其四个年龄时间点26岁、32岁、38岁、45岁的恋爱关系特征，关系质量和伴侣暴力进行分析。

结果发现，随着时间的推移，感情和生活压力越来越大，伴侣健康状况也越来越差。在所有年龄时间点，心理暴力更常见。在32岁时，伴侣中任何一方发生身体和心理暴力行为高达71.7％，在45岁时发生率有所下降。对于承受伴侣一方暴力的人的衰老速度反而更快，尤其是在遭受身体暴力。而且，恋爱关系质量和伴侣暴力与生物衰老之间存在着独立关系。

比较不同关系状态和特征的参与者的平均衰老速度.

另外，发表在Journal of Personality杂志的一项研究也发现，青年时期的恋爱关系对于人格发展能起到积极正面的作用，尤其是对神经质的人群。神经质是心理学中描述人性格的五大基本人格特质之一。神经质的人比较胆怯、不安、易激动，有抑郁倾向，且自我评价较低，对生活感到不满。然而，这类人群在恋爱期间情绪会比较稳定，在人格发展上也有促进作用。

Christine Finn 1, Kristin Mitte, Franz J Neyer.Recent decreases in specific interpretation biases predict decreases in neuroticism: evidence from a longitudinal study with young adult couples.J Pers. 2015 Jun;83(3):274-86. doi: 10.1111/jopy.12102.

在这项研究中，研究人员对年龄在18-30岁的245对情侣进行了为期9个月的随访，每隔3个月进行单独问卷。通过问卷的形式来调查情侣间的神经质程度和对恋爱关系的满意度。此外，参与者还要对虚拟的日常情境和自己的伴侣关系进行评价。

研究结果显示，在恋爱关系中，神经质程度会逐渐减弱，伴侣双方会共同进步，但更为关键的是在认知层面上，即内心世界的影响。和伴侣相处的正面经验及感情不会直接改变人格，而是通过思维方式的转变来抵抗负面情绪的变化。也就是说，爱情可以让人们在人生道路上更满怀信心，而不是在悲观中度过。

RIBd代表特定关系的解释偏差；T1至T4代表测量场合.Recent decreases in specific interpretation biases predict decreases in neuroticism: evidence from a longitudinal study with young adult couples.J Pers. 2015 Jun;83(3):274-86. doi: 10.1111/jopy.12102.

研究进一步强调，一段长期稳定的恋爱关系比短时间的恋爱作用更为明显，这种效果在男女受试者身上均有体现。此外，不仅仅是对神经质人群，而且对抑郁症和恐慌症患者而言，通过恋爱可让悲观想法逐渐改观。

可见，好的爱情使人年轻，不和谐的爱情使人沧桑。曾来自哈佛的一项长达82年的人类幸福研究中发现，亲密关系对人的健康和幸福感尤其重要，特别是在当今压力和冲击更大的社会中。

有人可以支持、鼓励你，是一笔特殊的财富。研究显示，亲密关系不仅是金钱或名望，更是使人们终生幸福的原因。与社会阶层，智商甚至基因相比，这些纽带可以保护人们免受生活中的不满，有助于延迟身心的衰退，并且使人长寿。

研究人员强调，良好的伴侣关系不仅可以保护我们的身体，还能保护我们的大脑，我们不必一直保持平稳的关系。有些八十多岁夫妇中可能日复一日地互相争吵，但是只要在艰难的时刻真的可以依靠对方，这些争论就不会对他们的记忆造成伤害。

总之，高质量的亲密关系可以帮助人延缓衰老，提升整体的幸福感。如果一个人在爱情生活中融洽甜蜜，亲子关系和睦，工作充满激情，就很少感受到烦恼和痛苦。因此，不管是分手，还是正处于一段不健康的伴侣关系中，寻求积极的生活状态总该是对身体有益的。

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2021-03-12 fengyi818

#社交#

33 0
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2021-03-10 妙酒

好文章

88 0
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2021-03-10 风间皎月

所以，还是单身比较“稳妥”（手动狗头～）

85 0
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2021-03-10 taken110

奇奇怪怪的研究

90 0
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2021-03-10 孤独的边城浪子

666

82 0
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2021-03-10 jyzxjiangqin

好文章！

68 0

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