让他活着,便以为是爱他?

2016-06-12 丽萨夫人 丽莎大夫的故事(ID:doctor-Li

导  语:这些人在医院里度过最后的时光,他们全身插满管子,与各种监视仪器连在一起,照顾他们的则是一些陌生人。 生命时间大于生命质量的现象,是医疗化社会所产生的。死亡这一过程试图矫正它,但却在实践过程中被慢慢异化了。大多数绝症患者宁愿死在家中,在自己的床上,被家人和朋友的爱环绕着。然而,这些人绝大多数却还是在医院里度过最后的时光。他们全身插满管子,与各种监视仪器连在一起,照顾

导  语:这些人在医院里度过最后的时光,他们全身插满管子,与各种监视仪器连在一起,照顾他们的则是一些陌生人。

生命时间大于生命质量的现象,是医疗化社会所产生的。死亡这一过程试图矫正它,但却在实践过程中被慢慢异化了。大多数绝症患者宁愿死在家中,在自己的床上,被家人和朋友的爱环绕着。然而,这些人绝大多数却还是在医院里度过最后的时光。他们全身插满管子,与各种监视仪器连在一起,照顾他们的则是一些陌生人。

值得吗?

我想到了一个已经死去的病人。一个80岁的老人,他险些因为脑出血丢了性命。他的家属说:“不论如何,一定要让他活着!” 4个钟头的全力抢救后,他活了下来,不过气管被切开了。他的喉部被打了个洞,那里有一根粗长的管子连向呼吸机。呼吸机不停地发出沉闷的气流声,一下下地把人造空气打进他的肺部。偶尔,他清醒过来,能睁开眼,用眼神表示意愿。这时候,他的家属格外激动,拉着我的手说:“谢谢你们拯救了他。”我说:“我们会尽力,关键是看他的命。”过了十天,他死了。我们没能拯救他,只是帮他延长了一点生命。

可是,这延长的十天值得吗?自从他被抢救过来后,家人轮流昼夜陪护他,目不转睛地盯着监护仪上的数字,紧张得要命。每看到一点变化,他们就立即跑来找医生。他的孙女总是啜泣着问我:“他是不是不会好了?”“怎么还是离不开呼吸机?”“为什么要输这么多药水?”我不忍心多说什么。后来,他肿了起来,头部像是吹大了的气球,气管套管的绳子在他的脖子上勒出了一道深红的印子。更糟糕的是,他的气道出血不止,这使他需要更加频繁地清理气道。每次抽吸时,护士用一根很长的管子伸进他的鼻腔,进入气管,在负压的吸引下,只见血块和血性分泌物被吸出来。这个过程很痛苦,只见他皱着眉,拼命地想躲开伸进去的管子。每当这时,他的孙女总低着头,不敢去看。可是,每天反复地清理,却还能抽吸出很多。

我问家属:“拖下去还是放弃?拖下去不一定是对他好。”我想到曾经有个病人,他的儿子坚持有创抢救。病人醒过来后,痛苦不已,自行绝食,不理睬这个儿子。而他们,仍表示要坚持到底。他的孙女说:“他死了,我就没有爷爷了。”

治疗显得越来越无奈,他清醒的时间更短了。而这仅剩的清醒时间,也被抽吸、扎针以及身体的痛苦无情地占据了。他的家人轮班昼夜陪伴,显得憔悴许多,像是笼罩在越来越重的阴影里。他的死期将至,医生心里已经如白纸黑字般明晰,但家属依旧在幻想着奇迹,坚持着增加痛苦却收效甚微的救治。

我的心情很复杂,对他的孙女说:“你在床头放点薰衣草,也许能让他舒服一点。”她连声说:“好。我们都不懂,听你的。”第二天查房,只觉芳香扑鼻。他的枕边,躺着一大束薰衣草,被一根细麻线绳松绑着,绽放着圣洁的紫,如同教堂里的赞美诗歌,又像是梦幻般的浪漫曲,令人神往。旁边还有一个红色的布袋,上面用黄色的线缝出一个“福”字。他静静地躺着,神情柔和了许多。

十天后,他死了。他死的时候,肤色变成了半透明,针眼、插管遍布全身。他的面部水肿,已经失去了原来的模样。

我问自己:如果他能表达出来,他愿意要这延长的十天吗?这十天里,他丝毫没有享受任何生命的权力,生命的意义何在?如果能预知他活得如此痛苦,家属还愿意“有创抢救”吗?即使已经看到他备受折磨了,为何还不愿放弃?难道,让他活着,便以为是爱他?我想到一个胰腺癌晚期的病人,家属托关系费心地把他送进医院,他却趁着家属打电话的空隙,一纵身跳楼自尽。我想,家属明知无药可治,为何一定要让他死在医院里?难道也是因为爱他?

如果是爱,这未免有些无知和自私了。无知,是因为家属不知道这样会使他更加痛苦,失去尊严地度过余生;自私,是因为他们不顾忌他的痛苦,违背他的意愿,坚持认为“让他活着就是爱他”。

该如何选择?

然而,或许这不仅仅是出于“爱”呢?

老干部病房里的情景,曾令我触目惊心。他们当中,有不少是已经年过九十的“老老人”了。有些“老老人”,竟然在这里住了几年!他们没有思维、不能说话、无法进食,动弹不得,全靠机器、生命管维持生命。家属送他们进来时总说:“不管怎样,得让他活着。”家属扔下他们走后,便很难再见到了。

他们痛苦不堪,却只能从喉咙里发出一点哀鸣。他们无法掌控自己所剩不多的命运,生不如死。有一次,我看见一位老人用颤抖的手拼命得去拔掉插在鼻孔里的胃管。一旁的家人连忙绑住她的手,大声地指责:“你不想活了吗?怎么回事?”这冷冰冰的话语很刺耳,家属为什么坚持要她活着?“这些老干部的住院费用很高,但基本都能报销。只要他们活着,家属每天都能领到一笔可观的津贴呢。”同事告诉我。

不论背后是什么在驱使,是无知、自私、或是利益熏心,这已经成为了普遍的情形:病人仍在接受治疗,却很痛苦;为了延长生命,却牺牲了最后的生命质量。从中,我可以看到他们的被忽视和无力感,主观感受的牺牲,权力的失去……只觉心如刀割,迫使我反思当下医疗社会里的死亡方式。

世界上不存在一种单一、不变、对每个临终的人都最适用的死亡方式。为什么一定要死在医院里?为什么“放弃治疗”要被涂上绝望的灰墨,捆上无奈的缰绳?也许,与其死在医院里,不如皈依宗教,从而得到生命的升华与顿悟。如果说,宗教是一个不错的归宿,那么自然又何尝不是?融入自然里,回归天地本源,使得灵魂重归宁静。

失去了尊严,不如高尚地死去。正如尼采曾说:当不再能以骄傲的方式活着时,就以骄傲的方式自愿死去。死亡为何不是一次深刻的生命教育?我想到了于娟。同样是痛苦的绝症,面对死期将至,她却从中领悟到了生命真谛。她的反思,以一本生命日记的方式呈现在世人面前。也因此,她的生命得以永恒。

凯博文曾说: 致命的疾病,会使人们睁开眼,打开门,激励人们与现实的威胁人类的事物及其社会根源作斗争。然而,这种效果大多数是不可能出现的,除非人们更进一步关闭个人的没有前途的痛苦孤立,和无效的自我专注。否则,悲痛不会使修复和重建自我和世界的可能性成为现实。

当你遭遇绝症或死亡时,你会睁开眼、打开门吗?那时,你将发现,一束薰衣草或许比冰冷的药水更有用;你将不会失去判断力而任人摆布、在恐惧空虚里耗尽最后一点生命,而是选择勇敢地接受生命的教育,以属于自己的方式骄傲地死去。


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    2017-05-31 阿吴

    我有过这样的想法没有敢表达

    0

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    2016-06-16 jaysppr

    进退两难

    0

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    2016-06-13 明崖

    体面活着,看到生活,而不是任人摆布

    0

  4. [GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=204881, encodeId=52782048814f, content=我有过这样的想法没有敢表达, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=62, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=https://wx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/NUyjXTCJjo6KcicAVC1MwuGx0Nj1tUEG8bCiclXBNCCfjGSeFLCtppUMLTdyCtkvyjxxXViaDnQv43w5VAuic6FGPuCicSgnNKBc3/0, createdBy=21f41994764, createdName=阿吴, createdTime=Wed May 31 19:30:44 CST 2017, time=2017-05-31, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=90025, encodeId=333e900255a, content=进退两难, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=167, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=https://wx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/PiajxSqBRaEIsrUxHnicsiaqwzJibCks60HOicbEAgbNzUiciboMJDzsWg16OHTeNHhyYvTg6TDXTlOx7icnhttCYYe2ujYt0yND7dYusOsibl9XnQCE/0, createdBy=7ad21722200, createdName=jaysppr, createdTime=Thu Jun 16 14:33:00 CST 2016, time=2016-06-16, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=89714, encodeId=bb6f89e145a, content=体面活着,看到生活,而不是任人摆布, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=121, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=73441710184, createdName=明崖, createdTime=Mon Jun 13 07:29:00 CST 2016, time=2016-06-13, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=89705, encodeId=b6c089e05c7, content=尊重生命,尊重病人自己的意愿,才是真正的爱他。, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=68, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=https://wx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/mStl88fu4NcXNhUvfhzd2SEXGDldsNfP4rKvY7vJmaHcyvLXicuyaCTJtVOkX3jvd6DwNMD88hDjJwsU7MnUH6zeqC4zt3yGV/0, createdBy=4e701628585, createdName=flyingzyx, createdTime=Mon Jun 13 06:20:00 CST 2016, time=2016-06-13, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=89690, encodeId=e6b7896907e, content=写得好!, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=58, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=e5921662006, createdName= 西海五月, createdTime=Sun Jun 12 23:04:00 CST 2016, time=2016-06-12, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=89651, encodeId=82988965129, content=发人深省, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=73, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=http://cacheapi.medsci.cn/resource/upload/20160604/IMG57523622BFC784441.jpg, createdBy=669d1732453, createdName=进击的叶子酱, createdTime=Sun Jun 12 19:37:00 CST 2016, time=2016-06-12, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=89614, encodeId=a165896144e, content=的确如此, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=127, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=7cde98330, createdName=milkshark, createdTime=Sun Jun 12 17:33:00 CST 2016, time=2016-06-12, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=89615, encodeId=408089615bc, content=文章不错, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=85, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=7cde98330, createdName=milkshark, createdTime=Sun Jun 12 17:33:00 CST 2016, time=2016-06-12, status=1, ipAttribution=)]
    2016-06-13 flyingzyx

    尊重生命,尊重病人自己的意愿,才是真正的爱他。

    0

  5. [GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=204881, encodeId=52782048814f, content=我有过这样的想法没有敢表达, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=62, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=https://wx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/NUyjXTCJjo6KcicAVC1MwuGx0Nj1tUEG8bCiclXBNCCfjGSeFLCtppUMLTdyCtkvyjxxXViaDnQv43w5VAuic6FGPuCicSgnNKBc3/0, createdBy=21f41994764, createdName=阿吴, createdTime=Wed May 31 19:30:44 CST 2017, time=2017-05-31, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=90025, encodeId=333e900255a, content=进退两难, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=167, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=https://wx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/PiajxSqBRaEIsrUxHnicsiaqwzJibCks60HOicbEAgbNzUiciboMJDzsWg16OHTeNHhyYvTg6TDXTlOx7icnhttCYYe2ujYt0yND7dYusOsibl9XnQCE/0, createdBy=7ad21722200, createdName=jaysppr, createdTime=Thu Jun 16 14:33:00 CST 2016, time=2016-06-16, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=89714, encodeId=bb6f89e145a, content=体面活着,看到生活,而不是任人摆布, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=121, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=73441710184, createdName=明崖, createdTime=Mon Jun 13 07:29:00 CST 2016, time=2016-06-13, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=89705, encodeId=b6c089e05c7, content=尊重生命,尊重病人自己的意愿,才是真正的爱他。, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=68, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=https://wx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/mStl88fu4NcXNhUvfhzd2SEXGDldsNfP4rKvY7vJmaHcyvLXicuyaCTJtVOkX3jvd6DwNMD88hDjJwsU7MnUH6zeqC4zt3yGV/0, createdBy=4e701628585, createdName=flyingzyx, createdTime=Mon Jun 13 06:20:00 CST 2016, time=2016-06-13, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=89690, encodeId=e6b7896907e, content=写得好!, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=58, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=e5921662006, createdName= 西海五月, createdTime=Sun Jun 12 23:04:00 CST 2016, time=2016-06-12, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=89651, encodeId=82988965129, content=发人深省, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=73, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=http://cacheapi.medsci.cn/resource/upload/20160604/IMG57523622BFC784441.jpg, createdBy=669d1732453, createdName=进击的叶子酱, createdTime=Sun Jun 12 19:37:00 CST 2016, time=2016-06-12, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=89614, encodeId=a165896144e, content=的确如此, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=127, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=7cde98330, createdName=milkshark, createdTime=Sun Jun 12 17:33:00 CST 2016, time=2016-06-12, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=89615, encodeId=408089615bc, content=文章不错, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=85, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=7cde98330, createdName=milkshark, createdTime=Sun Jun 12 17:33:00 CST 2016, time=2016-06-12, status=1, ipAttribution=)]
    2016-06-12 西海五月

    写得好!

    0

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    2016-06-12 进击的叶子酱

    发人深省

    0

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    2016-06-12 milkshark

    的确如此

    0

  8. [GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=204881, encodeId=52782048814f, content=我有过这样的想法没有敢表达, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=62, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=https://wx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/NUyjXTCJjo6KcicAVC1MwuGx0Nj1tUEG8bCiclXBNCCfjGSeFLCtppUMLTdyCtkvyjxxXViaDnQv43w5VAuic6FGPuCicSgnNKBc3/0, createdBy=21f41994764, createdName=阿吴, createdTime=Wed May 31 19:30:44 CST 2017, time=2017-05-31, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=90025, encodeId=333e900255a, content=进退两难, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=167, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=https://wx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/PiajxSqBRaEIsrUxHnicsiaqwzJibCks60HOicbEAgbNzUiciboMJDzsWg16OHTeNHhyYvTg6TDXTlOx7icnhttCYYe2ujYt0yND7dYusOsibl9XnQCE/0, createdBy=7ad21722200, createdName=jaysppr, createdTime=Thu Jun 16 14:33:00 CST 2016, time=2016-06-16, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=89714, encodeId=bb6f89e145a, content=体面活着,看到生活,而不是任人摆布, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=121, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=73441710184, createdName=明崖, createdTime=Mon Jun 13 07:29:00 CST 2016, time=2016-06-13, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=89705, encodeId=b6c089e05c7, content=尊重生命,尊重病人自己的意愿,才是真正的爱他。, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=68, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=https://wx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/mStl88fu4NcXNhUvfhzd2SEXGDldsNfP4rKvY7vJmaHcyvLXicuyaCTJtVOkX3jvd6DwNMD88hDjJwsU7MnUH6zeqC4zt3yGV/0, createdBy=4e701628585, createdName=flyingzyx, createdTime=Mon Jun 13 06:20:00 CST 2016, time=2016-06-13, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=89690, encodeId=e6b7896907e, content=写得好!, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=58, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=e5921662006, createdName= 西海五月, createdTime=Sun Jun 12 23:04:00 CST 2016, time=2016-06-12, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=89651, encodeId=82988965129, content=发人深省, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=73, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=http://cacheapi.medsci.cn/resource/upload/20160604/IMG57523622BFC784441.jpg, createdBy=669d1732453, createdName=进击的叶子酱, createdTime=Sun Jun 12 19:37:00 CST 2016, time=2016-06-12, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=89614, encodeId=a165896144e, content=的确如此, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=127, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=7cde98330, createdName=milkshark, createdTime=Sun Jun 12 17:33:00 CST 2016, time=2016-06-12, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=89615, encodeId=408089615bc, content=文章不错, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=85, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=7cde98330, createdName=milkshark, createdTime=Sun Jun 12 17:33:00 CST 2016, time=2016-06-12, status=1, ipAttribution=)]
    2016-06-12 milkshark

    文章不错

    0

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