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那些让你啼笑皆非的“奇葩”医患…

2015-02-15 momo 医学论坛网

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医院这个场合总是会出产一些奇葩的人物，本人从医15载，见到的各种奇葩层出不穷，这些事迹，想想也是够了。今日小憩，将他们总结出来，各位同僚和患者中招者，请自觉转走! 1.自从当了护士，我的生活就改变了。每次使用公共卫生间，我都恨不得这样子…… 2.每次接触了“脏”东西，我都能清楚地察觉到病原体沿着我的手臂往上爬…… 3.对喷嚏之类特别敏感，因为这不仅是某人的唾液喷射，还可能是流感、SA

医院这个场合总是会出产一些奇葩的人物，本人从医15载，见到的各种奇葩层出不穷，这些事迹，想想也是够了。今日小憩，将他们总结出来，各位同僚和患者中招者，请自觉转走!

1.自从当了护士，我的生活就改变了。每次使用公共卫生间，我都恨不得这样子……

2.每次接触了“脏”东西，我都能清楚地察觉到病原体沿着我的手臂往上爬……

3.对喷嚏之类特别敏感，因为这不仅是某人的唾液喷射，还可能是流感、SARS和埃博拉……

4.高中同学会上，你发现他们对“美酒”特别在行，而你特别了解各种“糖浆”……

5.每次选择外出服你都特别纠结，因为你想让它与你手上的创可贴匹配（谁让我经常伤口不断呢）……

6.路上偶遇我的话，你的“打招呼”时间一定不能超过10分钟，我可是比习大大忙多了……

7.我建议朋友间的握手寒暄改为勾勾小手指……


 8.某日突然发现舌苔颜色不对，立马紧张起来，各种不祥联想，最后发现，原来是先前吃了零食~

9.购买洗手液的花销超过房租(此描述适用江浙沪地区)……

10.为了“杀死”细菌，洗澡水可以煮熟龙虾~        

11.经常洗手以致手臂皮肤粗糙得像80岁老太的手……        

12.出入公众场合戴医用口罩，即使不在流感季节……        

13.情人节时，与“情人”的浪漫共处是互量血压~        

        

 同僚的这些奇葩事迹，想想也并非孤例，本人就中招5、6、7、8条，职业使然，可以理解。但有些患者与医院打交道久了，也变的“奇葩”起来，看看以下这些，你的患者中有这样的没?

1. 别人开始新的一天从享受一杯咖啡开始，你却第一时间挑东挑西：这小东东是什么玩意儿? 

        

2. 有自己的个人“保健医”，时刻关注自己的身体情况~

3. 总会和同事抱怨这脏那乱，以致别人都不知如何跟你愉快地玩耍~

4. 患上“进行性肌肉骨化症”我可以接受，问题是何时发病呢? 

5. 家里的小药柜堪比医院的大药房~

 6. 出门时的高级挎包塞满各种药瓶，走起路来叮叮当当……        

       

7. 手机的快捷播键都是医生，都没地儿添加家人……

8. 春季总会忍受各种疑虑和恐惧，最后终于真的病了……      

9.保留以前的诊断单，并时常翻阅，每每翻阅还会喉头哽塞~

10.偶尔会蛇精病似的练习突发疾病时如何呼救……     

11.即使是出个冷汗、打个喷嚏和发个头晕也会问问度娘，确定是不是发生了大病……      

  12.偶尔会幻想，如果我怀孕了会是神马赶脚(PS:我是男人)……      

     

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  1. [GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=158596, encodeId=efbc1585962c, content=哎。。, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=61, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=http://cdnapi.center.medsci.cn/medsci/head/2017/04/28/37a322fa6e8be63db9e493f1c35a800a.jpg, createdBy=e5461842402, createdName=llaq, createdTime=Mon Nov 28 00:37:49 CST 2016, time=2016-11-28, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=59001, encodeId=fbda5900192, content=是吗, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=108, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=45101626056, createdName=忠诚向上, createdTime=Sun Jan 24 17:00:00 CST 2016, time=2016-01-24, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=1284591, encodeId=a3be128459122, content=<a href='/topic/show?id=da9934342b5' target=_blank style='color:#2F92EE;'>#医患#</a>, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=32, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[TopicDto(id=34342, encryptionId=da9934342b5, topicName=医患)], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=c0e3195, createdName=millore, createdTime=Tue Feb 17 05:48:00 CST 2015, time=2015-02-17, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=1456745, encodeId=74171456e452c, content=<a href='/topic/show?id=c4664446474' target=_blank style='color:#2F92EE;'>#奇葩#</a>, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=32, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[TopicDto(id=44464, encryptionId=c4664446474, topicName=奇葩)], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=null, createdBy=75e05802674, createdName=3631175, createdTime=Tue Feb 17 05:48:00 CST 2015, time=2015-02-17, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=15977, encodeId=cdb0159e783, content=已阅, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=110, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=cce01615276, createdName=Johnny1989, createdTime=Mon Feb 16 15:20:00 CST 2015, time=2015-02-16, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=15648, encodeId=038c1564823, content=有趣, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=72, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=c68e1614119, createdName=windmilL1989, createdTime=Mon Feb 16 13:22:00 CST 2015, time=2015-02-16, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=15504, encodeId=f98b15504d8, content=明白, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=113, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=https://img.medsci.cn/20200609/ef6a57dbe7f1489dad7446b7c5217858/d5e4fe65996c4446a029b0f5d056abb1.jpg, createdBy=6b011518214, createdName=午夜星河, createdTime=Sun Feb 15 15:12:00 CST 2015, time=2015-02-15, status=1, ipAttribution=)]
    2016-11-28 llaq

    哎。。

    0

  2. [GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=158596, encodeId=efbc1585962c, content=哎。。, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=61, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=http://cdnapi.center.medsci.cn/medsci/head/2017/04/28/37a322fa6e8be63db9e493f1c35a800a.jpg, createdBy=e5461842402, createdName=llaq, createdTime=Mon Nov 28 00:37:49 CST 2016, time=2016-11-28, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=59001, encodeId=fbda5900192, content=是吗, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=108, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=45101626056, createdName=忠诚向上, createdTime=Sun Jan 24 17:00:00 CST 2016, time=2016-01-24, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=1284591, encodeId=a3be128459122, content=<a href='/topic/show?id=da9934342b5' target=_blank style='color:#2F92EE;'>#医患#</a>, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=32, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[TopicDto(id=34342, encryptionId=da9934342b5, topicName=医患)], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=c0e3195, createdName=millore, createdTime=Tue Feb 17 05:48:00 CST 2015, time=2015-02-17, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=1456745, encodeId=74171456e452c, content=<a href='/topic/show?id=c4664446474' target=_blank style='color:#2F92EE;'>#奇葩#</a>, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=32, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[TopicDto(id=44464, encryptionId=c4664446474, topicName=奇葩)], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=null, createdBy=75e05802674, createdName=3631175, createdTime=Tue Feb 17 05:48:00 CST 2015, time=2015-02-17, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=15977, encodeId=cdb0159e783, content=已阅, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=110, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=cce01615276, createdName=Johnny1989, createdTime=Mon Feb 16 15:20:00 CST 2015, time=2015-02-16, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=15648, encodeId=038c1564823, content=有趣, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=72, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=c68e1614119, createdName=windmilL1989, createdTime=Mon Feb 16 13:22:00 CST 2015, time=2015-02-16, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=15504, encodeId=f98b15504d8, content=明白, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=113, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=https://img.medsci.cn/20200609/ef6a57dbe7f1489dad7446b7c5217858/d5e4fe65996c4446a029b0f5d056abb1.jpg, createdBy=6b011518214, createdName=午夜星河, createdTime=Sun Feb 15 15:12:00 CST 2015, time=2015-02-15, status=1, ipAttribution=)]
    2016-01-24 忠诚向上

    是吗

    0

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    2015-02-17 millore

    #医患#

    0

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    2015-02-17 3631175

    #奇葩#

    0

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    2015-02-16 Johnny1989

    已阅

    0

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    2015-02-16 windmilL1989

    有趣

    0

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    2015-02-15 午夜星河

    明白

    0

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